My Night Working in Sin

This night was exactly what my parents warned me about...

Pam Anderson's Debut Fashion Show at The Venue at the Horseshoe Casino.

I was hired to be a cocktail waitress. I even got a uniform:

hot, right?

I carpooled with 4 other girls; only 1 of which had worked with this company before (our driver). So we weren't really sure what to expect. (Aside from our awesome outfits...)

The Horseshoe Casino is right over the Indiana border from Chicago. Other than the Casino and its surrounding buildings, there was nothing. A gas station, an empty field, a long stretch of highway, and the lake. That's it. And it was cold, bleak, and depressing. A perfect night for a casino! (Because what else are you going to do on a Friday night?)

Besides, this is PAM ANDERSON we're talking about here. She's so... current!... and young?... and wait, what? People besides Borat still pay to see her? Weird.

Anyway, The Venue floor, our workspace, was split into two areas. One very large portion of the floor filled with tables and bright white couches was the VIP section. Each table had a minimum of 2 bottle purchases. The couches had a 4 minimum. (Grey Goose was selling for $500/bottle that night...). Each table had name tags reserving them like "Aguilera", "Rodman", and "Reserved". That seemed to be the area that would have the most cash flowing.

The other tiny section was filled with little tables, 3 bars, and 7 game tables (1 roulette, 4 black jack, 2 craps). Me and 3 other girls were put in charge of this section. Go figure. There's ALL that VIP area to cover, and go figure I'm stuck in the back, furthest away from the runway and stage. Ah well...

After being assigned, we waited. Two hours later people started to come in. Turns out the VIP section sucked because no one came until 10pm, and everyone left by 11:30pm. My section on the other hand, was out of control. All the rednecks and weirdos that couldn't afford the VIP section flooded the gaming area, standing with their $5 bud lights and their Harley Davidson tshirts, staring at the runway, waiting for Pam Anderson to show her boobs.

These people were there to drink. Not to gamble, not to watch a "fashion" show. They were there to get wasted and waste life. It was quite sad, actually. But whatever, they were giving me money, so I supported them for that night.

Of course, my section was also filled with the wannabes, who I found to be even a sadder sight than my redneck friends. Because at least the people from Indiana knew they were being sketchy and having a weird Friday night. But all the Urbanites and the "I'm on the list"s from Chicago didn't have a clue. Wearing expensive suits and dresses with 5 inch heels, they all looked the same. Groups of girls all in black mini dresses, straightened hair, and horrible makeup. Drunk. I pretty much wanted to smack all of these people. They were all trying to get into the roped-off VIP area, but they didn't have the money to get in, even though they tried to act like it. And the more they were refused, the more drunk they became. (And sloppier).

And then there were the people sitting and playing at the game tables. WHAT DOUCHEBAGS. Thought they owned the room. Treated us all like crap. Were upset that the drinks weren't free, which I can understand because on the actual casino floors that's how it works, but c'mon, you KNOW you're not in the casino anymore. You're in a theater. Things work differently. But don't worry, you're still a douchebag in both places. And I'm not telling you whether or not I spit in your drink, had them make it light, or whatever. Screw you. ::shakes fist::

Luckily there were a few groups of people that were chill. 6 people in PR kept ordering drinks from only me, and leaving me $40 tips each time. Another group was with a classic rock radio station, and while they were drunk and kind of moody from losing at the tables, they still treated me well. And then of course there was my awesome table of older gentleman that kept ordering Hennessy XO from me :)

Then the A*Muse fashion show began. It was ok. All the clothes are "vegan" -- animal friendly, etc... Cuz that's what Pam Anderson is all about these days... Only half the line actually went together, though. After it finished, there was an awkward pause/high anticipation moment, then Pam finally showed her, uh, face! She came down the runway in a short, tight, leopard-print stretch mini that barely covered her. In the 90s, this would have been acceptable. But Ms. Anderson is 42. Gross. I mean, kudos to her still being that comfortable in what skin is left of her. She always was spunky. But at least be tasteful! Is that too much to ask? I mean, Madonna has perfected the "I'm old but still hot" look. Take some pointers.

Then she left. Everyone was disappointed. They drank some more. Gave me money. Left.

Overall, not a horrible night. Some guy was taking shots in the back where the waitresses' bar was; Another guy got plastered and had to be wheelchaired out; A guy named "Animal" said he should be able to get into the VIP area without questions asked because he once did coke lines off of Pam; a guy won over $10K after I dropped off his lucky drink; I met DJ Rock City, who was sweet.

My feet killed, though, after wearing heels for 7 hours.

My mom would have had a field day with this event. Most of the 7 Deadly Sins were out in their Weekend best: Greed, Lust, Envy, Sloth, Pride. There may have been some Wrath at the losing tables... Gluttony definitely wasn't there. No food + Only booze = Yikes.

An interesting experience; not sure if I'll put it on the resume.